To be happy or be sad?? Its coming to an end!!

Day before, 7th of March, 2010, was a very lazy day. I slept through the entire day and when I could not force myself to sleep anymore; I finally decided to rise from my slumber. There used to be a time when the thought of going online used to make you happy; but I tried even that and got bored after thirty minutes. Its then that I met a friend online and we decided to go out somewhere for supper. As we were getting out of the lift, we met another of our friend who decided to give us company.

So three of us debated for sometime, deciding where to go. Finally we could pick a place from the very limited options we had. Oh, but am not writing this blog to tell you how boring my day was, or to complain about the very few eating options that we have here. My purpose to write this blog is something totally different.

We sat down, placed our order and started talking. Initially it was mostly random stuff, how someone hooked up with someone, how the college fest was, or the new hot girl that someone had spotted (lol), but I don't remember how it came up but it hit us suddenly that in another eight to ten months our college life will be over! Trust me when I say this, there was literally a moment's silence as if we were mourning!

Lot of things started to come back to me. People say that college life is one of the best part of your life and to think that it was going to get over was something big. I still remember the day my class twelfth board results had come. I was still deciding that time which college to join. The whole idea about finally going to college was very exciting and I was looking forward to enter a life which everyone has spoken very highly of. I am pretty sure that towards the end of our high school all of us have thought about college life and it has always brought nice good images to us. We have always looked forward to it. Though we have been really sad about the fact that we were leaving school; but still all of us have looked forward to see what college holds in store for us.

I still very clearly remember the first day of my college life. I had just left my parents in Udupi and along with another friend of mine was taking a rickshaw back to Manipal when we got a call from another friend warning us that seniors were looking out for freshers and ragging them (which turned out to be a false warning). The call did scare us and I remember getting out of the rick and just running away! Those initial days when we kept asking each other names cause we were still trying to remember them, or getting lost in place as small as Manipal, still discovering something new everyday, those times when we shouted out of frustration cause we had not been given our laptop yet, still trying to find our drinking buddies! It all seems like yesterday!

Its really hard to believe that time flew by so fast. There we were, all new faces, wondering how the place is going to be, how people are going to be, will be manage surviving here; and now we have almost reached the end of our course and I can't even believe that in another year we won't be here. We saw people going from very happy state to sad state; we became a family; shared our happiness and sadness; saw our friends really excited about a girl/guy to those bad break-ups; someone scoring A+ to people getting F; we saw buildings coming up; we saw the entire face of the campus changing and am sure all of us at one point or other cursed this place for being really boring or monotonous or sad. Now, today I want to ask everyone, each and everyone of you if you disagree with me when I say that these have been one of the best three years of our lives! Did anyone of you realize how time just passed by? We cursed the administration for making it so hectic for us; one sessional after the other, then those assignments and lab exams, now all we can think of is, we din't even realize and  it all just went by!

While there is a part of me which is really excited to enter the 'real' world out there, the world that exists on the other side of those college gates, and to experience first hand various things; there is a very big part of me which asks me if I really want this to be over? The various changes, so many of them that we will have to adapt ourselves to, do we really want all that? Changes which are going to be really hard! People who really matter to you, who you really care for, they will go, trying to make a place for themselves. I am in dilemma, should I be happy that finally I will be graduating (hopefully) and will be earning; getting my chance to conquer the world, to make a place for myself out there or should I be sad cause none of this is ever going to come back. Life is never going to be so simple and relaxed! It will always be a race from here if it wasn't already!

Time flies by and those of us who adapt to the changes around us manage to survive and the rest of us just perish. I just hope that while adapting to these changes I don't change, I don't lose my identity and I don't lose the people who matter so much to me. I am lost, I am confused, I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. All I can do is hope that everyone, each and everyone of you, make a place for yourself out there and we are still together and I still have you and am sure with you by my side, rest of my life will also be like my college life.

Good luck to all of you!!! Cheers!!!