Faith - Something that keeps us going even when we know the result

"In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't."  

                                                                                    ~Blaise Pascal

Faith is a personal belief. It is something that has been debated over more number of times than we can probably count; and faith has no one meaning! To a young adolescent, faith is knowing that birds will chirp at stroke of dawn, for a teenager faith is believing that his/her friends will be there for him at school today, for someone in college faith is probably believing in the fact that his friends will put 'proxy' for him; for a father faith might be knowing that his son will make him proud one day! Faith in a very general sense is believing.

All of us, knowingly or unknowingly, have faith. Whenever, anyone is in any trouble we hear the near and dear ones say, "have faith in yourself", and sometimes thats enough to give us the courage to face anything. So I often find myself asking this question that what is faith? Is it simply a feeling that needs to be realized or is it a belief in some higher power. By higher power I don't refer to God in particular, for a kid, his father or mother is the higher power.

We have countless examples from past to show us how powerful faith can be. Many battles have been won and lost based on faith. It is said that true defeat occurs when a person succumbs to the situation and accepts defeat, if he still willing to fight, if he is still willing to survive, he has not been defeated. I think this is where faith comes into play. There is a very thin line between giving up and carrying on. I am sure each and everyone of us might have come across a situation more than once in our lives when we would have wanted to give up because it was becoming tougher to carry on. Few of us might have given up while few must have carried on, and I am sure when you look back at it, you can judge for yourself what was the right thing to do.

Having said all this, does faith really give us some special power, some energy? No, faith is just the realization of what we already have. We can not stand on the roof and say that we have faith that we can fly and jump off the roof. If someone even thinks of doing something like that, he himself knows that he is fooling himself, because even if you say that you have faith in such a thing, deep down there will be a seed of doubt. 

Faith and doubt can not exist simultaneously. Faith kills any doubt. It gives us that extra push that is required for us to move ahead, to do something which we are capable of. Of course sometimes faith makes us do things which we never thought we were capable of doing. 

Faith is something you have within yourself. It gets tested a lot of times and the only thing to remember is that come what may, we should not lose faith, we should never deviate from our beliefs. If you believe in your actions then you will realise that your actions have new meanings. 

We all have faith at one point or the other, in one thing or the other. It is not something that we should be ashamed of. It is something that gives us the strength. The moment you let go of faith, you realise that going gets tough no matter how easy the task maybe. So I would like you all to think, and think hard of the times when you have lost faith and how that turned out for you. You will have an answer. I would like to leave you with this thought - 

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit."  

                                                                                            ~Emmanuel

August 24, 2010

It was 1st of August, 2007, I joined Manipal Institute of Technology. I still vividly remember that day. Heavy rains and long walks to the lecture halls used to be as cohesive in our lives as the same daily menu of egg curry and 'coconut' chicken! I had heard so much about college life and here I was experiencing it first hand.

Days passed quickly, we were hoping from one set of sessionals to another; jumping between end semester exams and lab tests and before we could even realize; I am done with three years of my course. All of us used to ask ourselves the same question everyday, "How will we manage surviving for four years in this boring dull place?", and yet here I am, today, a student of final year, telling you that 1st August 2007 looks like yesterday.

I was sitting in one of my lectures, listening to everyone around me, of course professor excluded, when the idea for this entry struck me. I am not writing today to tell you about how much fun we had or to complain about college life coming to an end. I guess I have already done that in my last post. Today I am here to write about something different. Something that I have noticed over the past few weeks and something thats got me thinking!

I see my friends, my classmates, even people I do not know, and I feel that they have all somehow woken up from deep slumber! There is something about all of them that tells me that reality has caught up with all of them. Maybe this is what they mean when they say, "the rat race makes us a rat!". All of them have a look of fear and tense on their face. The topic of girls, crushes and alcohol seems to be a thing of past and have been replaced by what few would say, much more serious things like GRE, GMAT etc.

Everyone is either busy with their word lists or trying to configure routers on a simulation. Few have already aced the tests they took scoring 1550 in GRE while others have become Cisco Certified Network Associates (sounds pretty heavy)! Few of them are happy for being certified by Sun as Java programmers; while I sit here in front of my laptop singing praises for them!

I was always under the impression that the last year of college is meant for fun; after all it is supposed to be the last year of your life when you can sit and chat with your friends (or few with their girlfriends/boyfriends) till you pass out on their couch without worrying that you have to wake up early tomorrow or report to your boss. Well chats still happen, but now its mostly about placements, grades, scores and certificates.

All this has got me thinking about where I stand. I have not done any word list or any certification course; I was not even eligible for first few companies that visited my campus for recruitment. I sit back and I think. Where do I fit in? Looking back, these three years have been wonderful. There is nothing about them that i would want to change. Of course I would'nt mind a higher GPA or a few more certificates; but if I had to do it all over again; I would probably do it the same way. 

Was I too casual in my approach? Did I drift away? Did I go wrong somewhere? These are probably the questions that will haunt me and few others like me for sometime. I agree that there have been times when I could have probably been more serious but tomorrow when I look back, I am sure it will bring a smile to my face.

Cheers!!

PS I could not think of an apt title.

To be happy or be sad?? Its coming to an end!!

Day before, 7th of March, 2010, was a very lazy day. I slept through the entire day and when I could not force myself to sleep anymore; I finally decided to rise from my slumber. There used to be a time when the thought of going online used to make you happy; but I tried even that and got bored after thirty minutes. Its then that I met a friend online and we decided to go out somewhere for supper. As we were getting out of the lift, we met another of our friend who decided to give us company.

So three of us debated for sometime, deciding where to go. Finally we could pick a place from the very limited options we had. Oh, but am not writing this blog to tell you how boring my day was, or to complain about the very few eating options that we have here. My purpose to write this blog is something totally different.

We sat down, placed our order and started talking. Initially it was mostly random stuff, how someone hooked up with someone, how the college fest was, or the new hot girl that someone had spotted (lol), but I don't remember how it came up but it hit us suddenly that in another eight to ten months our college life will be over! Trust me when I say this, there was literally a moment's silence as if we were mourning!

Lot of things started to come back to me. People say that college life is one of the best part of your life and to think that it was going to get over was something big. I still remember the day my class twelfth board results had come. I was still deciding that time which college to join. The whole idea about finally going to college was very exciting and I was looking forward to enter a life which everyone has spoken very highly of. I am pretty sure that towards the end of our high school all of us have thought about college life and it has always brought nice good images to us. We have always looked forward to it. Though we have been really sad about the fact that we were leaving school; but still all of us have looked forward to see what college holds in store for us.

I still very clearly remember the first day of my college life. I had just left my parents in Udupi and along with another friend of mine was taking a rickshaw back to Manipal when we got a call from another friend warning us that seniors were looking out for freshers and ragging them (which turned out to be a false warning). The call did scare us and I remember getting out of the rick and just running away! Those initial days when we kept asking each other names cause we were still trying to remember them, or getting lost in place as small as Manipal, still discovering something new everyday, those times when we shouted out of frustration cause we had not been given our laptop yet, still trying to find our drinking buddies! It all seems like yesterday!

Its really hard to believe that time flew by so fast. There we were, all new faces, wondering how the place is going to be, how people are going to be, will be manage surviving here; and now we have almost reached the end of our course and I can't even believe that in another year we won't be here. We saw people going from very happy state to sad state; we became a family; shared our happiness and sadness; saw our friends really excited about a girl/guy to those bad break-ups; someone scoring A+ to people getting F; we saw buildings coming up; we saw the entire face of the campus changing and am sure all of us at one point or other cursed this place for being really boring or monotonous or sad. Now, today I want to ask everyone, each and everyone of you if you disagree with me when I say that these have been one of the best three years of our lives! Did anyone of you realize how time just passed by? We cursed the administration for making it so hectic for us; one sessional after the other, then those assignments and lab exams, now all we can think of is, we din't even realize and  it all just went by!

While there is a part of me which is really excited to enter the 'real' world out there, the world that exists on the other side of those college gates, and to experience first hand various things; there is a very big part of me which asks me if I really want this to be over? The various changes, so many of them that we will have to adapt ourselves to, do we really want all that? Changes which are going to be really hard! People who really matter to you, who you really care for, they will go, trying to make a place for themselves. I am in dilemma, should I be happy that finally I will be graduating (hopefully) and will be earning; getting my chance to conquer the world, to make a place for myself out there or should I be sad cause none of this is ever going to come back. Life is never going to be so simple and relaxed! It will always be a race from here if it wasn't already!

Time flies by and those of us who adapt to the changes around us manage to survive and the rest of us just perish. I just hope that while adapting to these changes I don't change, I don't lose my identity and I don't lose the people who matter so much to me. I am lost, I am confused, I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. All I can do is hope that everyone, each and everyone of you, make a place for yourself out there and we are still together and I still have you and am sure with you by my side, rest of my life will also be like my college life.

Good luck to all of you!!! Cheers!!!

Bottled Up!!

"Tears are words the heart can't express"
I have been caught crying many a times and most of these times I have heard people say, "be a man, don't cry"; what I still don't understand is what's ones sex got to do with ones feelings? Men are expected not to cry and keep their emotions and feelings bottled up inside; and we tend to try our level best to do that. However when words are not enough; when it becomes to much for us to keep it to us anymore; it all comes out in form of tears.


We have been told since time immemorial that we will portray our selves as weak if we cry and that its not manly enough to cry; but what I don't understand is that how can the entire male  specie be expected to turn emotionless. Well wait, before you start hurling abuses at me let me amend my previous sentence a little; the male specie is expected to keep his emotions bottled up inside only when it will portray him as a weak person (read make him cry), otherwise he is expected to show full emotions,feelings and understanding. 


I am sure most of us have come across circumstances when we feel the urge, the need to cry. Its supposed to be one of the best ways to let out your emotions. Its scientifically proven that after you cry, you feel more relaxed. Metaphorically speaking you feel a big load off your chest.


You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you don't want to feel. Emotions are such a big part of ones life that its almost impossible to be emotionless.  A person without emotions is as good as a dead person. Emotions like any other thing have two sides to it. A happy one and a sad one. How can someone be expected to show the happy side whereas keep the sad one just bottled inside?


Is it fair to ask a person to laugh along with you, to make you laugh and to show it when he is happy but at the same time if he becomes sad he must not as much as tell someone that he is sad? Is it possible to ask a person to show love but at the same time not show hatred? Is it possible to ask a person to care but not feel bad? Is it possible to ask a person to  be cheerful but never be miserable, to be happy but never sad? I think this is as impossible as tossing a coin and hoping that you always get heads. 


I feel if a man cries, he doesn't become less manly. Only a man who is totally comfortable with himself and is courageous enough can cry in front of others. There is nothing wrong in letting go of your emotions in what ever way possible. So all I want to say is that next time you see a guy crying don't say, "Be a man!" or "Guys don't cry! or "You are such a sissy!"; just try to understand that there can be a very deep reason for him to cry; that maybe you should talk to him instead of making fun of him; that maybe all he needs right now is a hug or an ear to hear him, cause you never know the little actions you do can make or break a man. Remember no one other than yourself is going to love you for what you are; people love you for how you make them feel.

My first encounter with working lifestyle

Till now I was living in a very well guarded world. My boarding school in Ajmer was like a fort; I was not allowed to go out neither could someone just come in, so my interaction with the outside world was very limited. Then came my high school in Delhi. It was a place with relaxed rules. I could go in and come out, we had day scholars, we had people from different backgrounds; so my interaction with the outer world increased. Finally came my college. College as we all know, places almost no restriction on you. It is assumed that you are now mature enough to decide what you want, to distinguish right from wrong. Here I chose my set of friends. My life was again going very smoothly. My parents kept meeting my demands for money and I never faced any difficulty as such.

It was towards the end of my fifth semester that the thought, "Life is not a bed of roses", rang a bell. I started to wonder that for me till now life has been more or less 'bed of roses', with only minor hiccups here and there. It is then that I decided I need to experience first hand how life outside the protected walls of my college is going to be. How it is going to be after I am forced out of my comfort zone.

So armed with 126 credits (thats what you get for clearing every subject in your course even if you don't understand a word of it) I went looking for a place which would be kind enough to offer me training. In time of recession, when people are finding it hard to retain their jobs, finding a place willing to offer training was surely a tough task. Here also I was again saved the hard work as a place was found through 'contacts'.

So we(me along with two of my friends) reached Mumbai, all set to experience the working culture, thinking about how I will manage when I have no support! The experience started right from the time we got down at Andheri Railway station. Looking for a place to stay was not only very confusing but a big hole in pocket too. Finally we found a place and decided to stay over there for a night.

The next day we were supposed to go to the head office of the company. The ride in the local Mumbai train is a experience in itself. When I saw the building which housed the office, I was awestruck! It was so huge and beautiful. Excitement took over me. The person I was supposed to meet was very helpful (contradictory to my belief that no one treats college students seeking training nicely)!

My training was to start from the next day. I was supposed to go to Vashi which is very far from where I was staying. Again the local Mumbai train came to our rescue. I admire the person who gave the concept of local train. It would have been so difficult without it!

I was expected to reach office by 10:00 AM and by the time I reached it was already 11:30 AM. On my first day at office I was late by an hour and a half! So you see things didn't exactly started as planned. To be honest I was little scared cause I didn't know what to expect. After waiting for sometime our department head came to us. He was a very helpful person. During the entire course of training he never made us feel as if we were trainees and took really good care of us. We were treated very nicely.

Everyone in office seemed to be busy with their own work. A few of them I guess where even surprised to see three undergraduate students walking in the office. All my fears vanished soon. The next few days were decent enough. Other than the fact that we had to travel more than three hours everyday, everything else went fine.

The entire experience taught me few things. They are :

• Once you go out of college, life is not easy. I saw people working there. They probably reached home late and slept cause they have to wake up again next day cause they can't afford to be late.
• Discipline is a must. You should be disciplined in whatever you do
• If you are good to people, they will be good to you

So friends I would like to say one thing, don't get scared. Go out and have fun. Its not an easy world out there but its not that scary also. Remember who you are and don't get lost in the crowd. 

Cheers!!