Bottled Up!!

"Tears are words the heart can't express"
I have been caught crying many a times and most of these times I have heard people say, "be a man, don't cry"; what I still don't understand is what's ones sex got to do with ones feelings? Men are expected not to cry and keep their emotions and feelings bottled up inside; and we tend to try our level best to do that. However when words are not enough; when it becomes to much for us to keep it to us anymore; it all comes out in form of tears.


We have been told since time immemorial that we will portray our selves as weak if we cry and that its not manly enough to cry; but what I don't understand is that how can the entire male  specie be expected to turn emotionless. Well wait, before you start hurling abuses at me let me amend my previous sentence a little; the male specie is expected to keep his emotions bottled up inside only when it will portray him as a weak person (read make him cry), otherwise he is expected to show full emotions,feelings and understanding. 


I am sure most of us have come across circumstances when we feel the urge, the need to cry. Its supposed to be one of the best ways to let out your emotions. Its scientifically proven that after you cry, you feel more relaxed. Metaphorically speaking you feel a big load off your chest.


You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you don't want to feel. Emotions are such a big part of ones life that its almost impossible to be emotionless.  A person without emotions is as good as a dead person. Emotions like any other thing have two sides to it. A happy one and a sad one. How can someone be expected to show the happy side whereas keep the sad one just bottled inside?


Is it fair to ask a person to laugh along with you, to make you laugh and to show it when he is happy but at the same time if he becomes sad he must not as much as tell someone that he is sad? Is it possible to ask a person to show love but at the same time not show hatred? Is it possible to ask a person to care but not feel bad? Is it possible to ask a person to  be cheerful but never be miserable, to be happy but never sad? I think this is as impossible as tossing a coin and hoping that you always get heads. 


I feel if a man cries, he doesn't become less manly. Only a man who is totally comfortable with himself and is courageous enough can cry in front of others. There is nothing wrong in letting go of your emotions in what ever way possible. So all I want to say is that next time you see a guy crying don't say, "Be a man!" or "Guys don't cry! or "You are such a sissy!"; just try to understand that there can be a very deep reason for him to cry; that maybe you should talk to him instead of making fun of him; that maybe all he needs right now is a hug or an ear to hear him, cause you never know the little actions you do can make or break a man. Remember no one other than yourself is going to love you for what you are; people love you for how you make them feel.

My first encounter with working lifestyle

Till now I was living in a very well guarded world. My boarding school in Ajmer was like a fort; I was not allowed to go out neither could someone just come in, so my interaction with the outside world was very limited. Then came my high school in Delhi. It was a place with relaxed rules. I could go in and come out, we had day scholars, we had people from different backgrounds; so my interaction with the outer world increased. Finally came my college. College as we all know, places almost no restriction on you. It is assumed that you are now mature enough to decide what you want, to distinguish right from wrong. Here I chose my set of friends. My life was again going very smoothly. My parents kept meeting my demands for money and I never faced any difficulty as such.

It was towards the end of my fifth semester that the thought, "Life is not a bed of roses", rang a bell. I started to wonder that for me till now life has been more or less 'bed of roses', with only minor hiccups here and there. It is then that I decided I need to experience first hand how life outside the protected walls of my college is going to be. How it is going to be after I am forced out of my comfort zone.

So armed with 126 credits (thats what you get for clearing every subject in your course even if you don't understand a word of it) I went looking for a place which would be kind enough to offer me training. In time of recession, when people are finding it hard to retain their jobs, finding a place willing to offer training was surely a tough task. Here also I was again saved the hard work as a place was found through 'contacts'.

So we(me along with two of my friends) reached Mumbai, all set to experience the working culture, thinking about how I will manage when I have no support! The experience started right from the time we got down at Andheri Railway station. Looking for a place to stay was not only very confusing but a big hole in pocket too. Finally we found a place and decided to stay over there for a night.

The next day we were supposed to go to the head office of the company. The ride in the local Mumbai train is a experience in itself. When I saw the building which housed the office, I was awestruck! It was so huge and beautiful. Excitement took over me. The person I was supposed to meet was very helpful (contradictory to my belief that no one treats college students seeking training nicely)!

My training was to start from the next day. I was supposed to go to Vashi which is very far from where I was staying. Again the local Mumbai train came to our rescue. I admire the person who gave the concept of local train. It would have been so difficult without it!

I was expected to reach office by 10:00 AM and by the time I reached it was already 11:30 AM. On my first day at office I was late by an hour and a half! So you see things didn't exactly started as planned. To be honest I was little scared cause I didn't know what to expect. After waiting for sometime our department head came to us. He was a very helpful person. During the entire course of training he never made us feel as if we were trainees and took really good care of us. We were treated very nicely.

Everyone in office seemed to be busy with their own work. A few of them I guess where even surprised to see three undergraduate students walking in the office. All my fears vanished soon. The next few days were decent enough. Other than the fact that we had to travel more than three hours everyday, everything else went fine.

The entire experience taught me few things. They are :

• Once you go out of college, life is not easy. I saw people working there. They probably reached home late and slept cause they have to wake up again next day cause they can't afford to be late.
• Discipline is a must. You should be disciplined in whatever you do
• If you are good to people, they will be good to you

So friends I would like to say one thing, don't get scared. Go out and have fun. Its not an easy world out there but its not that scary also. Remember who you are and don't get lost in the crowd. 

Cheers!!