Attitude

Allow me to quote Abraham Lincoln, “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and very welcomed guests, a very good evening.

How many times have we been told that we could have handled a situation differently? How many times have we asked ourselves that if my friend can, why can’t I? How many times has it happened that we have been in exact same situation as our neighbor, but we managed to take control of the situation whereas our neighbor couldn't? If your answer to even one of the questions was more than zero, then I am sure you would have asked yourself, at some point or the other, how could have I handled the situation differently, or why my neighbor couldn't take control of the situation.

The other day, I was walking towards food court, after sitting in an air conditioned cabin for four hours and I was complaining to my friend about how hot it was. At that moment, I saw an elderly person, probably in his fifties, mowing the lawn, and he had a smile on his face. I felt ashamed. Why was it that I was complaining even after sitting in the air conditioned cabin whereas this gentleman had a smile on his face?

This incident stayed with me for a while and I did some soul searching. It brought be to the age old question of whether the glass is half full or half empty.

I once had a friend who was pursuing BE in Electrical engineering. Once, just before an end semester exam, we were sitting and talking, mind you, not studying but talking, he was complaining to me about how the electrical subjects were very difficult. I was just a patient listener at that point of time. Later, when the results were announced, needless to say, my dear friend could not pass the exam and had failed in one of the subjects. After six months, we were having the same discussion again, the only difference being that his exact words were, “Last semester was so easy, and this one is the toughest.” With a slight smile, I asked my friend, brother, you said the same thing six months back! So, what has really happened in these six months? How did the subjects that you found tough then became easy all of a sudden? The subject has not changed, what has changed is your attitude towards the course. The moment you think that it is easy, it becomes easy.

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. It is this thought that changes our whole perspective about anything. It is because of this thought that some people are unhappy and feel that they have lot of worries even though they are driving a Mercedes, whereas some people have a big smile on their face even while balancing their family of four while riding a motorcycle.

Have you, my friend, ever felt that a task you were about to do was a difficult one? And how did you feel after you finished the task? How would you feel, if someone asked you to do the same task again? Once, our attitude towards a job changes, the job itself becomes easy. We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

Having said that, we have to be realistic as well. We can’t just say that I will jump from the tenth floor and nothing will happen to me or jump into the fire and still be alive. It is true that having a positive attitude helps us conquer most of our fears and we can achieve things which we had just dream of earlier, but the same attitude can sometimes cause immense problems as well. This attitude when misplaced, can lead to overconfidence and history is filled with examples when great empires have been destroyed because the emperor became over confident. Hence, it is very important to know where to draw the line and not get carried away. Rest assured, I feel it is right to say that if your motives are noble and your attitude is correct, no one can stop you from achieving your target!

I read this story about a 94 year young lady who everyone described as a delightful, cheerful and positive person.

One day her friends asked her, "What is the secret of your happiness?" She replied, "The secret is a very simple one. It is my enthusiasm for life. And because I always think positive, I am positive".

She paused for a while and then added, "Of-course I owe a lot of my positive thinking to my boyfriends."

"Boyfriends?" They asked her in disbelief, "Do you have boyfriends at this age?"

"You bet I do," she replied with a smile. "They are my constant faithful companions to this day!"

"How come you never told us before? Do tell us about them," her friends pleaded.

"I get up each morning with the help of my first boyfriend. He is Grat Etude (Gratitude). I go for a walk with my second boyfriend, Arthur Ritis (Arthritis). He has been my constant companion for the last 30 years. My evenings are spend with my third boyfriend Ben Gay (Bengay: an analgesic cream for joint pains), who has such a warm and soothing presence."

All her friends couldn't help admiring her attitude to life. They realized that the reason she was so cheerful and young at heart was that she had embraced all her aches and pains as friends, and because she had stopped complaining and resisting her condition, she lived her crippling life with ease.

Truly, the only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

I would like to leave you with a thought; I quote the Father of the nation, Mahatma Gandhi,

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”

So my friends, I hope when we walk out of this room today, we will take a deep breath and tell ourselves, “When life gives us lemons, we will make lemonade out of them”

Mr. Toastmaster, over to you…

Dreams

An athlete cannot run with money in his pockets. He must run with hope in his heart and dreams in his head.

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests, a very good evening. I request you all to close your eyes for a few seconds and let your thoughts wander. Think about the dreams you have had and if you have followed them. I am sure few of us are thinking about what we wanted to be when we were kids while a few of us our thinking about our dream girl or girls. It is safe to say that all of us, at some point in our life, have had dreams, some big while some small, some which we followed while others which we just left.

As a child, I used to dream. Well, mostly because I had nothing better to do. I used to dream about jungles and castles, about horses and airplanes. I remember that I used to tell myself that I would grow up to become an astronaut which later changed to becoming a traffic police man. I could sit at the same place and stare at the wall and be in my own little world, far away from reality and at the end of it, it made me happy. Though I was not physically strong and my resources were limited, my imagination was not!

Then the inevitable happened. I started to grow up. I was soon caught up in the “realities” of life. The only thing that I could see when I closed my eyes now was sin theta and cos theta. There was hardly any time to dream! It was as if someone had pinched me and I had suddenly snapped back to reality.

It was only after I was done with my graduation did I get the time to sit and think. The first thing that I did was I looked back at how my life has shaped up. I tried to recollect what all I used to dream about and whether I have lived those dreams or not. On analyzing, I realized that I had forgotten all about my dreams and I had stopped dreaming all together. At that point, I asked myself why I had stopped dreaming. Why could I now not think beyond a week? Why was I putting all my energy into achieving my short term goals? I had become so consumed by my daily activities that I did not get any time to think and even if I did, I would end up thinking about what I did that day or how I am going to survive the next day. The more I thought, the more I got confused.

I could come up with two main reasons regarding why people stop dreaming. Firstly, I feel it is the fear of failure that stops us. As we start to grow up, we build a wall around ourselves; a wall which curbs our thoughts because it puts in us the fear of failure.  We are so scared of failure that we don’t pursue our dreams and once we stop pursuing them, we stop having new ones.

Secondly, it could be the fear of being laughed at. I remember, when I was a kid, I used to tell people that I dream that I will fly one day and people used to call me cute. I am sure if I say the same thing today, I will be laughed at. It is this fear of being embarrassed that stops us from letting our mind wander.

So should we let these two fears dictate our lives? All the inventions have not taken place over night. Just imagine what would have happened if Graham Bell did not dream about telephones because he was scared of failure or Wright brothers did not dream about airplanes because they were scared that they would be laughed at. Any successful story has a long history of failures. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. We should not let the failures stop us; instead we should treat them as learning experiences.

I would like to share an anecdote that I had heard long back. A group of students visited Mr. Monty’s horse ranch on an education trip. He narrated a story to them. Once a kid was asked to write a paper on what he wanted to do when he grew up. He stayed up the entire night and wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red ‘F’. The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. There’s no way you could ever do it. Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade. Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all. He stated, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream”. It was only later that they realized that the boy was none other than Mr. Monty himself. He had followed his dream and today owned a 200-acre ranch.

A dream doesn't become a reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.

To conclude, I would like to say, let us all try to break down the wall that we have created around us. Let us make a promise to ourselves that we will let our mind wander because without dreams we are no better than machines.  

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?

Mr. Toastmaster, over to you…